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September 6, 2006
Language & Literature, Science & Technology
(Reading is believing…)
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdgnieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt!
Filed by The Editor on September 6th, 2006
September 2, 2006
In Other Words, Language & Literature
(q-tip waxes philosophic, as lord of the tribe…)
[sample audio] — abbridged
What is a party if it doesn’t really rock?
What is a poet? All balls, no cock.
What is a war if it doesn’t have a general?
What’s Channel Nine if it doesn’t have Arsenio?
What is life if you don’t have fun?
What is a “what?” if you ain’t got a gun?
What is a quest if the players ain’t willing?
What is a pence if you don’t have a shilling?
What’s a fat man without food in his gut?
What’s a child birth, without the umbilical?
What’s United Parcel, without the deliverer?
What’s Momma-san, without Poppa-san?
What’s martial arts without Daniel-san?
Notta notta notta, notta damn thing.
What’s Duke Ellington without that swing?
What’s Alex Haley if it doesn’t have Roots?
What’s a weekend if you ain’t knockin’ boots?
What’s a black nation, without black unity?
What is a child who doesn’t know puberty?
What is my label when I exit boom status?
What’s menage-a-tois? Or, that is…
What is sex when you have three people?
What are laws if they ain’t fair and equal?
What’s Clark Kent without a telephone booth?
What is a liquor if it ain’t 80 proof?
What are the youth if they ain’t rebellin?
Whats Raplh Kramden, if he ain’t yellin’
…at Ed Norton? What is coke snortin’?
What is position if there is no contortin’?
What is hip-hop if it doesn’t have violence?
Chill for a minute, Doug E. Fresh said “silence”
*four second pause*
What is a glock if you don’t have a clip?
What’s a lollipop without the good ship?
What’s S&M if you dont have chains?
What’s a con-artist if he doesn’t have brains?
What’s America without greed and glamour?
What’s an MC if he doesn’t have stamina?
What’s music fractured without Mr. Walt?
What’s Trugoy without a phrase called torte?
What’s Chris Lighty if he wasn’t such a baby?
What is a woman if she didn’t say maybe?
Baby laid down, I removed the frown.
What would be my penal cord, if it wasn’t brown?
What is a paper without a president?
What is a compound without an element?
What is a jam if you don’t spike the punch?
What’s a Bruce Lee if you don’t like brunch?
Oooh ooh, it’s like that.You keep goin’…
Filed by The Editor on September 2nd, 2006
August 27, 2006
In Other Words, Language & Literature, The Middle East
(Few have understood the Middle East and it’s people like Lebanese-born poet and scholar, Khalil Gibran. In this, my favourite of his smaller works, Gibran explores the concept of cultural integration and social identity, relevant now more than ever in the land he once called home)
Chapter One: How I Became a Madman
You ask me how I became a madman. It happened thus: One day, long before many gods were born, I woke from a deep sleep and found all my masks were stolen — the seven masks I have fashioned and worn in seven lives — I ran maskless through the crowded streets shouting, “Thieves, thieves, the cursed thieves.”
Men and women laughed at me and some ran to their houses in fear of me. And when I reached the market place, a youth standing on a house-top cried, “He is a madman.” I looked up to behold him and the sun kissed my own naked face for the first time. My soul was inflamed with love for the sun, and I wanted my masks no more. And as if in a trance I cried, “Blessed, blessed are the thieves who stole my masks.”
Thus I became a madman. And I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us.
But let me not be too proud of my safety. Even a Thief in a jail is safe from another thief.
Chapter Two…
Filed by The Editor on August 27th, 2006
February 5, 2006
Language & Literature, Science & Technology
“The time has come,” the Walrus said, “To talk of many things…”
- Lewis Carroll, The Walrus and The Carpenter, 1872
That Charles L. Dodgson was considered by many to be a serial pedophile had little to do with his celebrated creative legacy. After all, he was a distinguished Anglican clergyman, a pioneer in early photography, a gifted mathematician, and above all, a writer of great fictional prose. As he wandered through the English language over a hundred years ago, his literary and personal idiosyncrasies led him from subject to subject and metaphor to metaphor, spawning works that have continued to delight his readers ever since.
But perhaps his most enduring legacy comes from the lines of a little known poem called The Walrus and the Carpenter, whose insight into the world’s natural pecking order has inspired everything from a #1 Beatles hit to an indictment of organized religion to a strangely popular obsession with the oversized mustache. In each case, this magnificent Arctic creature is personified in ways that extend far above its place in the natural order of things, and as the walrus continues to work its way into the popular imagery of our time, it has achieved something that Dodgson, for all his efforts, never could: an escape from sexual disgrace.
(more…)
Filed by The Editor on February 5th, 2006
January 13, 2006
Finance & Economics, Language & Literature
(the following prose figures prominantly at the end of every nortel press release. caveat investor…)
Certain information included in this press release is forward-looking and is subject to important risks and uncertainties. The results or events predicted in these statements may differ materially from actual results or events. Factors which could cause results or events to differ from current expectations include, among other things: the outcome of regulatory and criminal investigations and civil litigation actions related to Nortel’s restatements and the impact any resulting legal judgments, settlements, penalties and expenses could have on Nortel’s results of operations, financial condition and liquidity, and any related potential dilution of Nortel’s common shares; the findings of Nortel’s independent review and implementation of recommended remedial measures; the outcome of the ongoing independent review with respect to revenues for specific identified transactions, which review will have a particular emphasis on the underlying conduct that led to the initial recognition of these revenues; the restatement or revisions of Nortel’s previously announced or filed financial results and resulting negative publicity; the existence of material weaknesses in Nortel’s internal control over financial reporting and the conclusion of Nortel’s management and independent auditor that Nortel’s internal control over financial reporting is ineffective, which could continue to impact Nortel’s ability to report its results of operations and financial condition accurately and in a timely manner; the impact of Nortel’s and NNL’s failure to timely file their financial statements and related periodic reports, including Nortel’s inability to access its shelf registration statement filed with the United States Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC); the impact of management changes, including the termination for cause of Nortel’s former CEO, CFO and Controller in April 2004; the sufficiency of Nortel’s restructuring activities, including the work plan announced on August 19, 2004 as updated on September 30, 2004 and December 14, 2004, including the potential for higher actual costs to be incurred in connection with restructuring actions compared to the estimated costs of such actions; cautious or reduced spending by Nortel’s customers; increased consolidation among Nortel’s customers and the loss of customers in certain markets; fluctuations in Nortel’s operating results and general industry, economic and market conditions and growth rates; fluctuations in Nortel’s cash flow, level of outstanding debt and current debt ratings; Nortel’s monitoring of the capital markets for opportunities to improve its capital structure and financial flexibility; Nortel’s ability to recruit and retain qualified employees; the use of cash collateral to support Nortel’s normal course business activities; the dependence on Nortel’s subsidiaries for funding; the impact of Nortel’s defined benefit plans and deferred tax assets on results of operations and Nortel’s cash flow; the adverse resolution of class actions, litigation in the ordinary course of business, intellectual property disputes and similar matters; Nortel’s dependence on new product development and its ability to predict market demand for particular products; Nortel’s ability to integrate the operations and technologies of acquired businesses in an effective manner; the impact of rapid technological and market change; the impact of price and product competition; barriers to international growth and global economic conditions, particularly in emerging markets and including interest rate and currency exchange rate fluctuations; the impact of rationalization and consolidation in the telecommunications industry; changes in regulation of the Internet; the impact of the credit risks of Nortel’s customers and the impact of customer financing and commitments; general stock market volatility; negative developments associated with Nortel’s supply contracts and contract manufacturing agreements, including as a result of using a sole supplier for a key component of certain optical networks solutions; the impact of Nortel’s supply and outsourcing contracts that contain delivery and installation provisions, which, if not met, could result in the payment of substantial penalties or liquidated damages; any undetected product defects, errors or failures; the future success of Nortel’s strategic alliances; and certain restrictions on how Nortel and its president and chief executive officer conduct business. For additional information with respect to certain of these and other factors, see the most recent Annual Report on Form 10-K and Quarterly Report on Form 10-Q filed by Nortel with the SEC. Unless otherwise required by applicable securities laws, Nortel disclaims any intention or obligation to update or revise any forward-looking statements, whether as a result of new information, future events or otherwise.
(x) Nortel, the Nortel logo and the Globemark are trademarks of Nortel Networks.
Filed by The Editor on January 13th, 2006
July 1, 2005
In Other Words, Language & Literature
(”Everything stinks till it’s finished,” Dr. Seuss once said, long before the enlightened age of ‘Sesame Street’ and the meteoric rise of ‘Blue’s Clues’. Developmental education has certainly come a long way since the early days of green eggs and ham, but I still can’t help but marvel at his strangely provocative style, given that my own first read was the ever-popular “Cat in the Hat Comes Back” just weeks after my fourth birthday. Consequently, I thought it only fitting to share with the readership this great New Yorker piece about the science of rhyme and reason, and the man who first brought it to the world…)
CAT PEOPLE
What Dr. Seuss really taught us.
by LOUIS MENAND
Issue of 2002-12-23
The Cat in the Hat was a Cold War invention. His value as an analyst of the psychology of his time, the late nineteen-fifties, is readily appreciated: transgression and hypocrisy are the principal themes of his little story. But he also stands in an intimate and paradoxical relation to national-security policy. He was both its creature and its nemesis—the unraveller of the very culture that produced him and that made him a star. This is less surprising than it may seem. He was, after all, a cat.
Every reader of “The Cat in the Hat” will feel that the story revolves around a piece of withheld information: what private demons or desires compelled this mother to leave two young children at home all day, with the front door unlocked, under the supervision of a fish? Terrible as the cat is, the woman is lucky that her children do not fall prey to some more insidious intruder. The mother’s abandonment is the psychic wound for which the antics of the cat make so useless a palliative. The children hate the cat. They take no joy in his stupid pet tricks, and they resent his attempt to distract them from what they really want to be doing, which is staring out the window for a sign of their mother’s return. Next to that consummation, a cake on a rake is a pretty feeble entertainment.
(more…)
Filed by The Editor on July 1st, 2005