boris the mover

the word is out. boris the mover is on the scene. practically a legend in downtown circles, boris’s trademark voicemail has already made the internet “rounds”, and even graced the pages the ad mag strategy with a fantastic description of his rather “unique” role in the new world of urban guerilla marketing. so who is boris, exactly? and how did he get his hands on all these numbers? and where in siberia do the movers talk like this?

$55 for a truck (and two athletic men)

in essence, boris represents the very best of canadian culture: a mix of old world “charm” and new world “capitalism”. his approach is simple: if you need a mover, he’s your man. in an age of online everything, boris has shown us that “ma bell” still has a friend. and without raising too many eyebrows or ruffling too many feathers, boris has actually managed to become a bit of an advertising anomaly in today’s six-sigma lifestyle: that rare but welcome pest to the answering machines of go-getters throughout the g.t.a.

in fact, his rough-spoken tune has become so immensely popular that most people play it back at least once for all their friends. in a way, boris has achieved something that most marketers can only dream of; the type of “sticky” campaign that usually leads to some sort of future business (or at the very least, a higher probability of future business). the funny thing is, big corporations spend millions of dollars for that kind of customer retention, plastering their logos on billboards, t-shirts, concert venues and golf balls, when all it really takes to win over someone’s wallet is a fresh look at the world and a bit of good timing.

to take this a step further, i’m suggesting that companies outside the realm of “transportation logistics” might also benefit from boris’s unique approach to customer relationship management. for one, his shtick is hilarious. if rogers sent me a piece of junk mail that actually made me laugh out loud (and even keep to show all of my friends), it’s pretty safe to assume that their v.p. of direct marketing would be a whole lot closer to that sl 55 he always wanted. instead, i open up my mailbox at least twice a week, only to find a complicated piece of folded propaganda hawking the cableco’s latest and greatest life-saving “bundle”, and the only thought that crosses my mind is how much i’d rather see a $2 discount on my monthly bill than an elaborate piece of designer origami that’s not even fit for the recycling bin.

oh, those russians

whether or not i’m planning to move in the immediate future, and whether or not i’d need a pair of “strong athletic men” to help me do it, boris’s charm is still undeniable. and as the city continues to swell with new residents and the news begins to spread, these wiley russian entrepreneurs may end up a whole lot closer to a new fleet of german vehicles than even the most established media moguls.

in fact, were it not for all the industrious immigrants who somehow found their way to the great white north over the last hundred years, toronto wouldn’t have any of its skyscrapers, ontario wouldn’t have an auto industry, and canada wouldn’t have itself the best damn pizza delivery infrastructure in the world.

and to the benefit (or bane) of people all across this fine city, we certainly wouldn’t have boris the athletic russian mover.

5 comments to “boris the mover”
  1. I liked the positive way you took Boris’ phone messages. It made me laugh the first time I heard it, but after the third or fourth time, I was getting annoyed with it.

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