adaptive subconscious

(the following is a free-write from a brother of mine, first crafted in the white-hot fires of a surprisingly painful [and painfully surprising] breakup, then cooled and refined in the bitter-sweet bliss that is “the morning after”. if we’re lucky, his posts might become a fairly regular feature here at the rational post, but for now, i hope you enjoy his inagural contribution…)

GSPAN………Adaptive Subconscious

BLINK. I am intense. That is how my colleagues describe me as well as those who know me. I make decisions in the spur of the moment and learn from my experiences. I reflect, synthesize, and delve forward. I describe my feelings and vocalize my thoughts. I thank my friends for being a part of my life and tell them my favourite quote that “Life is a Curve with many Turning Points.”

Upon my journey, both life and literary over the past two years, I also discovered many symbolic characters. Like you, Mikhail Lermontov wonderfully depicts a character named Pechorin as an influential personality type in his book, “A Hero of Our Time.”

My Pechorin-like instincts led my adaptive subconscious to believe that my actions with you were healthy. Simply put, I liked you and decided to show you. That being said, I have a past that still antagonizes me and fuels my fire. The truth is that we have not discussed our past. Rather, it has been quite nice to think of only the present and the future with you.

You have been a unique protagonist who has added a plethora of tales to my life long story. Your articulate eyes, meticulous mind, and philosophical views have truly influenced me in a positive light. You kindly and sweetly asked me once if I ever plan on writing a book one day? Like the fuel of my past, you have ignited this flame in my present state. So I thank you.

You asked? Yes, I am a hopeless romantic and not afraid to admit it. It is ingrained in my thick Russian blood. Perhaps an explanation is that for a high school English class, we were asked to write on a historical movement and describe how it has impacted society today? My choice at the age of 16 was to describe the post Enlightenment Era of Romanticism and write about how Shakespeare influenced society’s view of family traditions and the struggle for love that we all experience.

So, keep treading into the depths of your soul, as I will do. Don’t change for anybody and as the Beatles would say, just “Be.” BLINK.